


The Commander's burden and a godly right

by anonfanfic



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, but only slightly - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-03
Updated: 2017-01-03
Packaged: 2018-08-19 10:31:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8202172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anonfanfic/pseuds/anonfanfic
Summary: Follow young Lexa as she meets a dying man in the forest. He passes on a mysterious gift with his final breath. Lexa returns to Polis only to learn she will be battling for her life in hopes of the Commander's Spirit choosing her to lead her people. Will this gift guide her or destroy her as she faces the trails and tribulations of becoming Heda and learning if love truly is a weakness?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I got inspired by a prompt on Tumblr and have written an entire fic for it. I will post updates once a week. Thanks for reading and let me know what you think.

Lexa spun quickly as she heard the snap of a twig behind her. She had been sent on a mission by Anya to try and find something of value in the woods around Polis. It was busy work and Lexa knew it. But she didn’t mind because the quiet of the woods always felt right to Lexa. 

Something stumbled out of the shadows and Lexa drew her sword, ready for any attack that may come. 

“Help.” A voice that seemed to ring through the cool autumn air made Lexa pause. A large body fell forward onto the dead leaves that blanketed the forest floor. Lexa hesitated for a long moment as she watched the man struggled for another breath. His large frame was shaking with the effort just to fill his lungs with air. 

Lexa wasn’t sure if this was just a test from Anya. She would be punished if she put her guard down and the enemy was able to gain the upper hand because of weakness.  _‘Emotions make you weak. Others will not show you mercy and you don’t show mercy to anyone.’_ Anya’s words echoed through her mind. Lexa thought of turning away and leaving the man on the ground. But something kept her feet planted and her eyes locked as she saw the dark crimson stain growing from the man’s lower back. 

She couldn’t just stand there and watch this man suffer. Lexa put her sword away and walked over to the bleeding man. “What happened? Were you attacked?” Lexa asked as she gently lifted the man’s head and put in on her lap. Trying in vain to lessen the suffering the man was feeling. But as Lexa examined the man’s body closer she saw that he would die before she could get him to a healer. All she could do was comfort him as he greeted death. 

“They wanted my...” The man struggled to speak and Lexa could see the blood forming at the corners of his lips. His lungs were filling with blood he didn’t have long. “They wanted my power.” He was finally able to gasp. 

Lexa looked down at the man confused at his words, he must be delirious from losing so much blood. “Your power?” Lexa repeated as she looked at his worn face; his skin showing signs of being out in the sun for many long days. His face was covered in a greying beard that still showed signs of the dark brown hair he had once had.

Lexa could feel the warmth of the man’s blood as it started to pour onto her skin and clothing. The man opened his mouth to answer her but Lexa put a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Save your strength brother.” The man closed his blue eyes for a moment as he gasped for another shallow breath. His weathered features grimaced in pain as Lexa heard the wet noise coming from his chest. 

“You must know.” His voice, the one that had shaken the trees around them was not just above a whisper. “The power, it’s yours now.” Lexa again looked down confused at the man’s mention of power. She was a nightblood so of course she did have the power of the commander coursing through her veins, but how did this stranger know that?

“What do you know of my power?” Lexa was more concerned than confused now. 

The man’s face was turning grey and his eyes were rolling up in his skull but he managed to open his mouth with pained effort. “By my blood may you be cleansed of earthly needs. Wield the power with compassion for the lesser beings as long as you walk the earth.” He had barely gotten the last words out before his body started to shake in Lexa’s arms. His eyes closed and blood poured from his mouth. 

Lexa just held his body as close as she could knowing that nothing she could do would save him from his fate. It had been sealed before she had even met him. 

After a few minutes his body went limp in Lexa’s arms and she closed her eyes showing the man honor even though she had never even learned his name. “Yu gonplei ste odon.” Lexa muttered softly as she carefully placed the man back onto the cold ground. She hated that she had to leave his body without burning it, but she wouldn’t be able to carry his body back to Polis. 

Lexa got up and looked down at her clothing and saw that they were stained with the man’s blood. He had been stabbed over twenty times and whatever weapon was used was made to bleed out the enemy. 

Lexa looked down at the man not sure what she should do for him now. Before she could think of anything she heard more twigs snapping around her. For whatever reason something inside of her told her to run. These were the people who had killed this man and they would not show her mercy for helping him. 

Lexa turned and ran through the woods. Her feet felt like they were barely touching the ground as she felt her heart start to race and pound in her ears. She looked down and saw the path beneath her blurred as her feet pushed her back toward the city. Was she imagining it or were her feet actually not touching the ground?

Just as she got back to the city she heard something that sent an even bigger chill down her spine than watching a man die. She had seen that too many times now. She stopped running and stood still as the horns blew through the city declaring the death of their Heda. Lexa would face the Conclave tomorrow. Lexa would face death.

Lexa once again allowed her feet to carry her back to her barracks that she shared with the other nightbloods. As she ran through the city she could hear the wails of the people of Polis as they mourned the death of the Commander. He was loved by most. Lexa had learned a great deal from him. He was ruthless to his enemies but kind to his people. 

Lexa was out of breath and clutching her sides by the time she reached the small building in the shadow of tower that housed the nightbloods. 

“Where have you been?” Luna ran over to her and Lexa watched as her friend noticed her blood stained clothing. “Go get those things off and get cleaned up. Anya will be here soon.” Lexa smiled at her friend, knowing she would have to explain herself at some point. But for now all Luna knew was that they had bigger problems than that. 

Lexa rushed into the small washroom and took off her dirty clothing. Luna ran in and handed her a new outfit before rushing out as the door opened to the barracks and Lexa heard Anya’s stern voice. Lexa dumped a jug of freezing water over her head and into the large basin beneath her. There was no time to heat it. 

Lexa almost let out a shriek as the cold water washed over her sweaty skin. 

“Lexa kom Trikru!” Anya called impatiently. “I will not be kept waiting.” Lexa knew that Anya was feeling the pain from losing the Commander and also the sting of knowing that every nightblood she had helped train would face death in less than twenty-four hours. 

“Sorry.” Lexa lowered her head as she rushed into the main room of the barracks. Anya gave her an inquisitive look as she took in her soaking wet appearance. “What have you been doing?” Anya raised an eyebrow suspiciously.

Lexa’s mind felt like it was full of bees. It buzzed and hummed as did every thought inside. She couldn’t think of an excuse to give to Anya. 

“We were training.” Luna spoke up and looked at Anya without flinching. “I beat Lexa and so I got to shower first.” Lexa felt a little pang of anger flare inside of her at the idea that Luna had bested her, but she couldn’t be too upset after Luna had just saved her. 

Anya looked back and forth between the two girls before turning to Lexa. “Is this true?” Lexa nodded and looked at Luna trying to convey without words how grateful she was. 

“I need you all to be focused.” Anya put her hands behind her back finally looking away from Lexa, seemingly satisfied with Lexa’s response. “As you know one of you will become Heda tomorrow. You are all worthy of being our new leader but the Commander’s Spirit will only choose one of you. Be ready.” Anya turned to walk out but stopped with her hands still behind her back. She slowly turned her head to the side. “I’m proud of all of you.” With that Anya walked out of the barracks, leaving the small group of kids alone with her words still echoing in their ears. 

There wasn’t as much talking or joking between the nightbloods as they got ready for a restless night of sleep. Lexa crawled into her small bed next to Luna. She turned to face her friend with only candlelight illuminating the room.

“Lexa.” Luna’s voice was tight and Lexa could tell she was holding back tears. “I don’t know if I can fight tomorrow.” Lexa moved so she was closer to Luna, she wanted to make sure the others wouldn’t overhear their conversation. She didn’t want them to see either of them as weak.

“Luna, this is our birthright. We have to serve our people.” Lexa tried to calm her friend down. “If you are chosen you will be a great leader.” Lexa pulled her hand out from under her blanket and put it over Luna’s. “Try and rest.”

Luna just nodded and Lexa could see the tears glistening down Luna’s cheeks before she closed her eyes.

Luna shook Lexa awake roughly. “How did you sleep at all?” She asked Lexa surprised as Lexa sat up groggily and dug her knuckles into her eyes to try and wipe away the sleep.

“I don’t know. I don’t remember falling asleep.” Lexa looked around and saw that all the other nightbloods were nearly dressed and ready for the Conclave. The last thing Lexa remembered was feeling a warm light around her body. Every part of her body just felt powerful as she lay in bed waiting for sleep to come. She had felt odd ever since she had found that man who was dying in the forest.

“Well, get up and get ready. We have to leave soon.” Luna still looked shaken and Lexa wasn’t sure what would become of her when the Conclave finally began.

After Lexa had gotten dressed she joined the other nightbloods Anya appeared at the door, her face was set but Lexa could see the weariness in her eyes. “Let’s go.” That was all Anya said to them and with no other prompting the nightbloods fell in line behind their teacher.

They walked in complete silence through the nearly deserted city streets. Most of Polis would be waiting for the Conclave to begin. But as they were walking Lexa’s eyes landed on a pair of familiar eyes. The warm, brown eyes brought a jolt to her heart as they locked with hers. “Costia.” Lexa’s mouth moved without making a sound. She saw a single tear slide down Costia’s cheek as they walked past her family’s cart. She knew that Costia wouldn’t be able to watch the Conclave. She had told Lexa so many times when they would meet after the sun had gone down.

Costia’s mouth hung slightly open as she watched the line of nightbloods walk slowly to the large tower ahead of them. The look of utter despair on Costia’s face made Lexa want to jump from her spot in line and scoop Costia up in her arms and whisper promises of forever in her ear as she peppered her skin in sweet kisses. But she knew that she could never promise Costia that, that was one thing that Lexa couldn’t even promise herself.

Lexa craned her neck to get one last look at Costia’s face. She closed her eyes as they walked into Polis Tower. She tried to commit every aspect of Costia to memory. She started with her deep brown eyes, so full of compassion. She thought about her nose and how it slightly curved at the tip. Lexa smiled as she remembered the way Costia would crinkle her nose when Lexa kissed it.

“Ompf!” Lexa had been so lost in thought that she hadn’t noticed they had stopped moving forward. She looked down at the boy she had knocked over. She offered her hand to help him up but he shook her off. They were no longer friends or allies. This was where the line was drawn.

Lexa watched as Titus appeared behind the large wooden door they were standing in front of with a large black box. It was made of wood and chipping at the corners. Lexa knew that the box contained each of their names written on a slip of paper. Two names would be drawn and those nightbloods would fight to the death behind whatever awaited them on the other side of the large wooden door.

Only the two nightbloods, Titus, and Anya would go in. This would ensure no advantage to the other nightbloods who weren’t fighting. When they emerged there would be one less person.

Titus cleared his throat and ran a hand over his baldhead. “Let the Conclave begin.” He reached his had into the box and pulled out a slip of paper. “Luna kom Floukru.” Titus declared and Lexa saw Luna’s body tense when her name was read aloud.

Titus held onto the slip as he reached into the box to pull out another name. “Felix kom Floukru.” There was a tense silence that filled the room. Lexa felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. Luna had been matched against her brother in the first round of combat.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Conclave has officially begun and Lexa begins to notice things have changed since she came upon the man in the forest. What does this mean for her future? If she gets a future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the next chapter! I hope you're still with me. This story will go on until we see a familiar face fall from the sky. Let me know if you're enjoying the story so far.
> 
> Tumblr: @anonfanfic

Lexa looked over at Luna to try and give her some type of encouragement. But Luna didn’t look in Lexa’s direction. She didn’t look anywhere but straightforward. She moved toward Titus and Anya at the front of the room. Felix, a tall and lean boy moved through the crowd to stand next to his sister. 

Titus walked in front of the siblings and marked their foreheads with charcoal, the place where the flame would live if chosen. 

Luna’s face was strained but expressionless as she walked over to a wall covered in weapons to choose which she would wield in battle against her older brother. Felix looked stoic, Lexa knew his expression well, he had accepted whatever fate would befall him. 

Felix walked over after Luna was done and chose his own weapon from the wall. 

When both of the young nightbloods had returned to their place in front of Anya and Titus the wooden doors slowly opened. Some of the other nightbloods tried to crane their necks to get a look at the room beyond the door but only darkness could be seen. 

Lexa watched as all four of the people standing by the door disappeared into the darkness. The door closed with an echoing slam and all the remaining nightbloods could do was wait for the winner to emerge with Titus and Anya. Lexa had counted at least twenty minutes passing before the door opened again. The room went silent and every eye was on the dark entrance waiting to see who had won the match. 

Titus appeared first the sweat glistening from his head. Anya was next. Her dark eyes were unreadable as she turned to wait for her winning student. Some of the nightbloods had made bets on who they thought would win, it made the idea of dying seem less inevitable if you had a wager on the other matches. 

A gasp spread through the room when Luna walked out of the room. Her bushy red hair matted with blood and sweat. Her skin, just like Titus’, was glistening but with splattered blood on her arms and legs. But the thing that stuck out to Lexa were Luna’s eyes, they looked haunted. She looked hallowed out and empty, just a shell of her former self. Lexa wanted to reach out to her friend but she didn’t rejoin the group. Instead she walked to the corner and slid down the wall, her face now buried in her hands. 

Titus was quick to move on, needing the other students to focus on their own matches. He banged his flat palm on the wooden box to get the others attention. “Next match.” He declared to the room. His hand moved into the box and he pulled out another name. 

“Lexa kom Trikru.” 

Lexa felt her heart jump and then plummet to her stomach. Her vision blurred and her ears started to ring. Like every other nightblood in the room she knew that her name was in that box and that it would be called, but it was still shocking to hear it all the same. 

Lexa rubbed her hands on her pants to remove the sweat that had started to form. Titus reached into the box again and every second felt like an eternity. 

“Petrus kom Boudalan Kru.” Titus declared and once again waited for the two chosen nightbloods to make their way forward. 

Lexa felt like her feet were made of stone as she tried to walk toward Titus and Anya. Petrus pushed through people as he nearly shook the floor with his giant steps. He was as big as a wall and about as smart as one too. He made his way right to the wall of weapons and grabbed a mace and dagger. He smirked at Lexa when she passed him on her way to the wall. 

Petrus had always been cocky in training. He had refused to get close to any of the other students because as he would tell them, “He didn’t get friendly with his easy kills.” Lexa could hear the other nightbloods quietly betting against her as she grabbed two long swords. Anya had trained Lexa heavily with swords. She had told her that she hadn’t seen anyone with such skill in quite a long time. Lexa could only hope that her skill would be able to compete with Petrus’ brute strength. 

Lexa slid the swords into the sheaths on her back and moved to join Petrus in the front. She looked over at Anya who looked quickly away, not ready to see another one of her students die before her eyes. Lexa moved her gaze to Luna who was still sitting with her back against the wall and her face in her hands. 

Lexa heard the door behind her open and once again her heart dropped to her stomach. This was it, she would either walk back out after the fight or she would be killed and burned with the other dead nightbloods. 

All four people up front turned at the same time to face the door. Lexa took a steadying breath before walking into the darkness. As she walked she felt a steadying presence wash over her. This was her birthright. She would fight because her people needed her to and she would win because that is what she had been trained to do. Lexa set her jaw and moved with renewed energy and confidence. 

Through the darkness she could see a small glimmer of light, the hallway they were walking down was long and smelled of spoiled meat and sewage. It made Lexa’s stomach turn and she heard Petrus grumble about the stench next to her. 

The glimmer of light grew larger and Lexa could see it was another smaller wooden door at the end of the hallway. 

The door opened and Lexa was shocked to hear the noise of the crowd. She had been so caught up in her thoughts that she forgot nearly the entire city came out to watch the Conclave. 

They entered the room and Lexa saw the circle that had been left open for the battle. She saw blood on the ground and a body wrapped up in a plain, white cloth in the far corner. By the end of the day there would be a pile of bodies in those same cloths. 

Lexa walked to the far side of the corner and Petrus took the opposite side. There were no cheers from the crowd. But there were murmurs. Just like with the nightbloods the people tended to bet on the matches, though usually money or good changed hands in those wagers. It was highly illegal, but still frequently done at every Conclave. 

Petrus readied himself as Titus stood before them and recited the rules of battle. Only one nightblood would leave this room. This was solo combat, meaning no one from the watching crowd could assist either nightblood in any way. The remaining nightblood would move on to face the next competitor until only one nightblood was left. 

Lexa and Petrus were both familiar with what would happen. They had lived with the shadow of death behind them since they were born with the black blood. Titus took three steps back and lifted his hands in the air. “Begin!” He shouted and dropped his hands as he did. 

Petrus lowered his massive frame and glared up at Lexa. He bared his teeth like a wild animal about to pounce. Lexa reached behind her and pulled her swords forward. She moved her fingers on the handle, getting accustomed to the weight and feel of her weapons. 

Lexa pulled back her right arm and put her left in front of her body. She wasn’t going to be the one to strike first; she knew that was what he wanted her to do. 

She set her feet and felt an odd warmth start in the pit of her stomach. It was like someone had put a branding iron just above her belly button. The warmth started to spread quickly, moving from her stomach to her chest and out to her arms and legs. The spot where the warmth had started now felt like it was coiling. A power Lexa had never felt was pressing down inside of her ready to explode. 

Her first thought was that it was her adrenaline starting to consume her body. She had never been put into a life or death situation before so she had no idea what her body could do. Lexa couldn’t let herself get too caught up in her thoughts. She could feel Petrus’ glare burning into her. His chest rumbled, nearly vibrating the entire room, as he swung his mace over his head. 

Petrus finally made the first move, charging forward with a loud war cry. It was like every second slowed down as he rushed Lexa. She could see the barbs on the mace he swung at her and the way his lips curled over his teeth as he snarled viciously. Lexa stepped to her left and used her left sword to easily block Petrus’ attack. She pushed forward with her left arm and pushed his arm away leaving his side open. 

Lexa took the opportunity and cross her right sword over. She plunged it deeply into Petrus’ side. She knew immediately it was a fatal wound. Petrus tried to stay standing but as Lexa pulled her sword from his side he collapsed onto the ground. 

Lexa watched as his large frame struggle to get back up. He got to his knees before Lexa descended on him to end it. She took no joy in his death but Lexa was aware that it was either this or be killed herself. 

Lexa felt a warmth course through her right arm as she reached back and drove her sword into his back. Petrus opened his mouth but no sound came out. Blood poured from his nose and mouth as he fell face first to the ground. There was complete silence as Titus moved forward and put a hand on the side of Petrus’ neck. Titus stood slowly and held his arms up. “We have a victor. Lexa kom Trikru!” The crowd cheered and Lexa simply put her sword back in its place on her back. There was no reason to celebrate the needless death. She did what she had to do for her people. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Conclave comes to its bitter and bloody end. Lexa is finding it much harder to ignore the changes that are still happening in her body. But with her life hanging in the balance there is no time to think about what had happened to her in the woods. Everything was about to change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you are enjoying my take on Lexa's story with a slight twist. Don't worry the sky will be falling soon. Let me know what you think!
> 
> Tumblr: @anonfanfic

The next few minutes blurred together as Anya walked over and put a protective arm over her shoulder. Titus led the way out of the room. Lexa could still hear the sounds of the crowd behind her as they walked back down the dark hallway. Soon she would be looking into the faces of the other nightbloods. Lexa couldn’t help but wonder how many, if any, of them had put a bet on her to be the person who walked back through the door. 

The large door opened in front of them and Lexa had to squint her eyes against the bright light that poured through. 

Lexa heard the shocked gasps, similar to when Luna had walked back into the room, when she emerged from behind the wooden door. Lexa saw that Luna hadn’t moved from her spot; isolated and hidden with her back against the wall. She wasn’t sure how much time had passed since she walked back to fight for her life. 

There was no fanfare or pats on the back from coming out alive. There were just shocked looks and fearful gazes as the next two names were chosen. The next two nightbloods stepped forward and Lexa watched as they chose their weapons and followed the now familiar path to the dark hallway. 

The final round would be the last three nightbloods, because their number was odd at nine. The next fight was over quickly and a small boy walked back out, black blood pouring from his nose. He looked like he had taken a beating but somehow won his battle. 

Lexa could tell that he was trying to make it seem like he wasn’t as hurt as he was, but as he walked back his right leg dragged slightly behind him and his chest heaved with labored breathes. 

Titus didn’t bother to call out the last three names. He simply gestured for the two girls and one boy to join him by the door. He pulled the last three pieces of parchment from the box and put them in the folds of his robes. 

Lexa watched the last three nightbloods grab their weapons and walk back to stand between Anya and Titus. The three remaining nightbloods who had already won their battles did not whisper to or even try to make eye contact with the each other. This was something all of them had been preparing for their whole lives, but something none of them were actually ready for. By the end of the day you were either going to die or kill a handful of your peers. 

After the wooden door had slammed shut there were only three people left in the room; the boy who was named Viggo kom Sankru, Lexa, and Luna. The boy was hunched over checking his leg carefully and Luna was still sitting against the wall. But now she didn’t have her face buried in her hands, she was looking straight ahead of her staring at the opposite wall. Her expression was stony and dark, Lexa thought she must be preparing herself for the next round of battles. 

Looking over at Viggo, Lexa could see he was not in good shape to fight again, no matter how much time he spent on his injuries. Lexa knew in that moment it would come down to her and Luna. 

The last battle was the longest yet. Lexa lost count after the first hour. After a while of sitting in tense silence Luna finally got up from her spot and started pacing the room like a caged lion. Lexa thought she was finally ready for her next fight. 

Unlike Luna, Viggo had only gotten worse as time went on. His skin was pale and his nose hadn’t stopped bleeding since he came back from his fight. 

If he made it to the next round he wouldn’t last long. Lexa thought about just putting him out of his misery now, but thought better of it. Usually fighting before the rounds grounds for disqualification from having the flame choose you. It sometimes meant banishment if the new Heda was merciful. But usually it meant death by a thousand cuts. 

The new Heda could never risk having a banished nightblood come back in the night seeking revenge. 

Finally just as the light outside was starting to turn golden with the sunset the doors opened and three people came back out. Titus, Anya, and the winner of the round a girl named Flavia kom Trishana Kru. She was tall and thin with hair that looked like it was actually spun from gold. Her features were sharp and her eyes seemed to be grey. 

Flavia walked back into the room with a long cut on the left side of her face. It didn’t seem deep; it just made her already angular features look more menacing. 

All eyes were on the three figures as they emerged from the room. Just this morning they had been a group of nine and now there were only four left. Titus put four pieces of parchment back in the black box. The others had been destroyed when the name on the slips had been killed. 

Without a word he reached into the box and pulled out the first name. 

“Lexa kom Trikru.” Titus declared and once again Lexa’s heart began to race. It was bound to happen and maybe it was best to just get it over with as quickly as possible. Lexa steadied herself and waited for the next name. 

“Luna kom Floukru.” Lexa felt her racing heart surge as she heard Luna’s name. She was one of the only people in the group Lexa could have called a friend. She had hoped to avoid facing her in battle. 

“Where is Luna?” Anya asked as she looked around the small room. Lexa turned to look where Luna had been just before Titus drew the names but she was gone. 

Lexa looked back up front and saw Titus’ eyes locked on the door to the right. It was open a Luna’s weapon was on the ground in front of it. 

“Guards. Find her and put her in a cage. The new Heda will decide her fate for betraying her blood.” Titus ordered and the two guards that had been standing watch quietly charged out the door looking for Luna. 

“As we are now faced with only three nightblidas we will finish this now. Single combat and may the Commander’s Spirit choose wisely.” Titus declared and once again the large wooden door opened. 

Viggo took a step forward and collapsed. He stumbled to his feet but it was clear he wouldn’t survive in solo combat. Titus walked over to the boy and knelt down next to him. “Yu gonplei ste odon.” Titus quickly pulled a dagger from his robes and plunged it into Viggo’s chest. The boy’s dark brown eyes went wide with shock before fluttering closed. 

Titus picked up Viggo’s limp body and started walking into the darkness that would take them back into the battle room. He was taking Viggo’s body to lay with the rest of the dead. He hadn’t run from his duty and therefore would still be honored with the rest. 

Lexa slowly followed behind the rest as she let her mind catch up to the events that had unfolded so quickly. It would be between her and Flavia. There was a chance the Commander’s Spirit would choose her to lead her people. The same burning sensation she had felt above her belly button during her first fight happened again. This time the burning started at her temples. It started to hurt so much she had to stop walking and close her eyes. 

When she did she saw images flash before her eyes like memories. But these images were things she had never seen or experienced before. She saw a wide and beautiful expanse, it was Polis but as if she were flying above the city and looking down. The image changed a angry red streak appeared across the sky and Lexa watched as it flew behind the far tree line and out of sight. 

The last image was the most clear. It was a pair of intense blue eyes staring right at here. Lexa felt her heart beat hard against her chest as the eyes blinked a few times and then disappeared. She opened her eyes to see the others had already made it to the door. Lexa walked quickly and joined the group just as the door opened. 

There were once again murmurs from the crowd as they entered. They grew even louder as they stepped into the room. And they were almost deafening when the crowd saw Titus holding one of the nightbloods lifeless bodies. 

“Viggo kom Sankru has succumb to the injuries he sustained during his first battle. He will be honored with the rest of his class.” Titus walked over to the corner where guards were watching over the pile of white cloths. Each one of them represented a nightblood who had not been chosen as Heda. 

Titus did not mention Luna’s absence, though Lexa heard whispers in the crowd. She was sure that he would not bring up Luna until she was captured and brought back to the tower to await punishment. It’s what she would do if she were Heda. Speaking of a rebel nightblood before they had been contained would only appear as weakness to the people; a lack of control, which Titus could not afford. 

“We stand here,” Titus began again. Silencing the crowd with his words. “As we have many times before, to welcome a new Heda. Chosen by the Commander’s of the past, may they choose wisely.” Titus finished to the sound of applause.

Lexa turned to face Flavia. She was still slightly shaken by whatever had happened to her in the hall earlier. The images seemed like they were burned into her eyelids. Every time she blinked she saw another one. But the one that always seemed to catch her breath in her throat were the blue eyes just staring back. 

Lexa shook her head and tried to focus on the present. The warmth was now filling her body again. The muscles in her arms and legs were coming alive with power she had never known she possessed. 

Flavia was ready. She wasn’t like Petrus who had a desire to kill. But she was like Lexa in knowing that it was her duty to fight for The Flame. 

Titus lifted his arms as he did before Lexa’s first match. “Begin!” 

Flavia was not as calculating as Petrus either. She charged Lexa, her long axe grasped firmly in her hands. Lexa once again felt her body react as if she was seeing the fight in slow motion. 

She sidestepped Flavia’s oncoming attack and pulled her right sword from her holster. In one swift movement she racked it along Flavia’s back as she passed her. 

Flavia gave a cry of pain as she dropped to one knee. Lexa took the chance and leapt to attack. Flavia rolled out of the way and her axe caught Lexa’s left arm. 

Lexa winced as she felt the deep cut and warm blood begin to pour out of her new wound. 

Lexa pulled her other sword out, her left arm throbbing in pain as she did. Flavia stood and spun her axe expertly in her left hand. Lexa flourished her swords and took a step toward Flavia, trying to force the other girl to make a move. 

Flavia did make a move and Lexa wasn’t sure how but she saw it before it happened. It felt like whatever the warmth was that had taken over her limbs moved her easily away. Flavia took a wide swing with her axe and once again Lexa saw an opening under Flavia’s attack. 

Lexa dropped to her knees and quickly thrust her sword up into Flavia’s chest. The light was in Flavia’s grey eyes one second and the next it was gone. A small bubble of black blood formed on her lips as she sputtered and finally died. It was over. Lexa had won. She had been chosen to lead her people as Heda. Flavis body slid slowly to the ground and Lexa stood up. 

The crowd was still silent as Flavia’s body laid at Lexa’s feet. She felt an odd feeling washing over her as she looked out and saw the faces of her people. She was their leader now. Everything had changed so quickly and all Lexa could do was pull her sword back and wait for Titus to announce her Heda. 

“The victor.” Titus walked to the middle of the room to join Lexa. “Heda Lexa kom Trikru.” On his final word the entire crowd bowed before Lexa as was tradition. 

Lexa’s heart was still racing when Anya finally walked over to her and put a hand on her shoulder. “It’s time to be cleansed before your ascension.” There was a reverence in her teacher’s voice that sounded odd. She was now in command over someone who had trained her for as long as she could remember. 

Lexa nodded and let Anya lead her away from the crowd, Titus told the crowd to rise and disperse before following the two of them to Lexa’s new bedchambers. The next time she would be in front of them she would have the flame inside of her. 

The walk to the elevators that lead to the top floor of the huge tower was a blur. Anya and Titus both tried to speak to Lexa as they made their way to clean her and change her into her ceremony dress. 

But every time she tried to focus on their words moments from the fight came back to her. The warmth that had surged through her was now a dull ache behind her eyes. And every time she blinked all she could see were those same blue eyes that had found her before the fight began. 

They made it up to the Commander’s room and Lexa could barely remembered moving after the fight. Everything was washing over her at once. Soon she would recite the lineage of Commanders before her, receive the flame, and address the people for the first time as Heda. 

Titus opened the double doors to the bedchambers and Lexa’s eyes widen at the expansive room. The bed was nearly bigger than the entire space she had shared with the other nightbloods. The room was bathed in candlelight, giving it a warm, comfortable feeling that Lexa needed after facing death just hours before. 

There were two young girls standing in the far corner with large plush cloths, Lexa’s new handmaidens. “Clean yourself and we will start your ascension ceremony.” Titus put his hands behind his back and stood next to Anya a few steps behind Lexa. “We will come back for you soon.” Titus bowed his head and he and Anya turned to leave. 

“Wait.” It was the first thing Lexa had said since the fight ended. “Anya, will you stay?”

Titus and Anya stopped halfway through their turn and looked back at Lexa. They took a beat and stared at each other and then Anya took a step forward. “If you wish for me to stay I will.” Anya bowed her head in respect for Lexa. 

Lexa nodded, “I do.” Lexa said as she looked at Titus behind Anya. “I would like Anya to be my second in command in Polis.” 

Titus turned back to face Lexa. “That is a ruling you may make once you have the flame.” He responded and once again bowed before turning and leaving the room.

After the doors shut behind Titus Lexa turned to Anya and searched her face. She was looking for some sort of direction or words of advice from her teacher. But she knew that the time for that had passed. She was Heda now and any lessons she needed to learn Anya had already taught her over the years. 

It was like Anya understood the thoughts that went through Lexa’s head as they simply stared at each other. “You will be a wonderful Heda Lexa. You were born for this.” 

Lexa felt herself grow more confident as her former teacher looked at her with pride. She nodded in acknowledgement of Anya’s words and let the moment pass. 

After that Lexa knew Anya was right she was born for this. She let herself get swept up in getting ready for her ascension. Her handmaidens helped bathe her, dress her, and braided her hair. She would apply her war paint after the ceremony was completed. 

When Lexa looked in the mirror after her cleansing was complete she almost didn’t recognize herself. Her hair fell down her back with intricate braids throughout. Her face was clean with no signs of blood or grim from the earlier battles. There was a fresh bandage covering the cut on her left arm. 

“We are ready.” Anya spoke quietly. Lexa was surprised she had never heard her teacher speak to her in such a reverent tone before. 

Lexa turned to her and nodded, walking with her toward the large doors ready to accept the flame and serve her people. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa's ascension begins as she takes her place as Heda.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you are enjoying my take on Lexa's journey. 
> 
> Tumblr: @anonfanfic

Lexa’s fingertips tingled, as they got closer to the throne room. She could hear the crowd buzzing before the doors even opened.

Those who were able to get a spot in the throne room were waiting for Lexa to begin her ascension. Everyone else in Polis would be waiting outside for Lexa to ride through the streets after the ceremony was complete. 

Finally they stood in front of the large doors and Lexa felt her heart skip a beat as the humming that filled the room dulled. They knew Lexa had arrived and by now they were craning their necks toward the door to catch a glimpse of her. 

All at once the doors opened and Lexa saw a sea of faces greet her. But one stood out, a face she had looked at for endless minutes on countless nights, Costia. 

Lexa kept her eyes locked on Costia as she started to walk toward the throne, her throne. Her brown eyes were warm and comforting, Lexa’s heart started beating slower with every step. Costia was her rock in that moment and so many others before that. 

Lexa made it to the throne and turned to face Titus who was wearing his ceremonial robe and had the markings of past commander’s drawn onto his head. 

He dipped his fingers into a bowl of black paint to signify the nightblood that coursed through Lexa’s veins and made her capable of holding the Flame. He pressed his fingers to Lexa’s forehead as she stood before her people. 

Titus took a step back and left Lexa standing alone on the platform with the throne. Now she would recite the lineage of the past Commander’s. Lexa remembered all of the lessons they had to sit through and hear those names repeated constantly. She had never liked those lessons very much. Lexa would have much rather been sparing with her peers than listening to a list of names she had heard too many times to remember. 

But now as she looked out into the sea of faces she couldn’t help but feel very grateful for those times. The names rolled off her tongue easily as she pulled them from her memory. 

By the time she had listed the last name she felt Titus walk back to her side. Her body was now aching, the adrenaline from the fight was now wearing off and her body was now feeling the pain.

Lexa felt her hair being pushed away from her neck and knew what was coming next. The Flame would be given to her and she would than become the true Heda. 

She felt the sharp pain in the back of her neck that meant that Titus had begun. Lexa kept her head forward and made sure her face showed no sign of the pain she was feeling. She looked through the crowd and found her anchor. Costia was looking up at her and Lexa felt like she was home. 

Their eyes were locked and a warm feeling started filling Lexa’s body. She couldn’t explain it and it nearly took her breath away as it coursed through her. 

Suddenly it felt like she was thrown into darkness and she had nothing to hold onto as she went tumbling into oblivion. 

She saw faces flash before her eyes as she spiraled down deep inside of herself. She had never felt the darkness close in on her like it was in this moment. 

Lexa saw Costia smiling at her, Anya training with her, the other nightbloods that were no longer with her sitting down and learning, and finally she saw the man she had met in the woods. It felt like an eternity ago but she could see his face so clearly. 

There was a tug somewhere in the distance that pulled Lexa back up and out of the darkness. When she opened her eyes it was like seeing everything for the first time. There was a confidence and strength she hadn’t felt before. 

Lexa felt the fresh bandage Titus had put on her neck and knew that it was over, the Flame was inside of her and she was now the Commander. 

She stood slowly and her hands reflectively went behind her back. Lexa watched as the entire crowd bowed before her. The confidence she had felt now surged through her, she was ready to lead her people. 

“Rise.” Lexa spoke her first word as Heda and almost didn’t recognize the power in her own voice. 

Her eyes went right back to find Costia in the crowd. They always seemed to find each other no matter what. It was a connection that Lexa cherished even more now than she felt the weight of her new role already bearing down on her shoulders. 

Before she knew it Titus was leading her out of the room and down the elevator to the city below. This would be her first time on those familiar dirt roads as Commander greeting her people. 

The walk through the streets of Polis was a blur of faces and cheers. Lexa saw familiar faces, and even more striking were the young faces looking up at her in awe. By the time she got back to the throne room it was empty and Lexa was drained. 

“Heda, it is now time to be marked as your reign begins.” Titus explained and pointed to a long wooden table that had been set up in the middle of the cold room. 

Lexa nodded at him, knowing it was part of the ceremony to ascension. A man with dark marks on either side of his eyes stood by the table and Titus turned to leave. 

“Flamekeeper.” Lexa turned and saw Titus stop in his tracks. “I would like you to find Costia kom Trikru and bring her to my chambers.” Lexa saw Titus’ body tense at her order. He turned slowly to face her, his face showed deep concern. 

“Heda, I don’t believe it is wise…” Lexa held her hand up, once again feeling her confidence surge. 

“I don’t believe I asked for opinions.” Lexa didn’t wait for Titus to respond she turned and walked to the wooden table. She heard Titus walk out the doors as she removed her top and lay on her stomach across the table. “I’d like my tattoo to pay respect to those in my conclave.” Lexa closed her eyes as the man silently began his work. 

She wasn’t sure if it was because her body was beyond exhaustion or if had actually fallen asleep but the next thing she knew the man was tapping her shoulder to let her know he had finished her tattoo.

Her back was wrapped in a soft cloth as she slowly pushed her sore muscles to get her off the table. Lexa put her shirt back on, her eyes barely able to stay open, she had no idea of what time it was or how long it had been since she woke up that morning. So much had changed and it could have been months or even years and Lexa wouldn’t have been surprised.

Two guards walked with Lexa as she made her way back to her new sleeping chambers. She had only seen the large room for a few minutes after her battles. But what she thought next made her heart skip a beat. Costia would be waiting for her when she arrived. She would finally be able to look into Costia’s eyes and hold her. 

The closer they got the faster Lexa’s heart raced. It was like every part of her needed to be near Costia. But in the back of her mind she could see Titus and his concerned expression. Her role so different now, so much different, she was now the leader of her people. Did that put Costia at risk? Lexa shook the thoughts away as the door came into view. She wouldn’t let anything happen to Costia. She would see to it that Costia was under constant protection.

The guards opened the door for Lexa and she entired the room lit entirely by candlelight. Costia was standing in the middle of the room in a flowing blue gown. Lexa stopped in her tracks just inside the door. “Leave us.” She told the guards, not taking her eyes off Costia. 

Lexa heard the door close behind her leaving just her and Costia alone for the first time since she had been chosen. For a long moment they just stared at each other, unsure of who would make the first move. 

Costia finally moved slowly toward Lexa, neither saying a word. Lexa’s arms reflectively went around Costia’s waist as she got close. Their foreheads touched and Lexa felt every emotion from the day wash over her. She felt the pain of losing the other nightbloods, the fear of taking on the role of Heda, the confidence and strength of accepting the Flame, and a deep affection for the girl she held in her arms. 

Lexa felt how heavy her body was, she was so tired and drained from everything that had happened today. “Will you stay with me tonight?” Lexa whispered, her eyes closed as both girls gently rocked in the other’s arms.

“Of course.” Costia replied softly and Lexa felt her hands move to her hair and caress it soothingly. “Let’s get you ready for bed.” They moved apart and Lexa smiled at Costia. She knew Lexa’s body had been broken, stitched back together and chipped away today. It was only with her tender touch that she was able to will her aching body to move. 

When they had finally settled into bed Lexa rested her head on Costia’s chest and listened to her rhythmic heartbeat. After a while Costia began to hum and she brushed her fingers through Lexa’s hair. The melody was calming and sweet. It reminded Lexa of the warm summer nights they would sneak out and pick apples just outside the city.

An echoing thud woke Lexa with a start. She had no idea where she was or why her arms and legs felt like they were made of solid rock. Costia was next to her looking just as shocked and disheveled.

Titus walked quickly over to the bed and what happened yesterday crashed over Lexa like a broken dam. She was chosen, she was Heda, and it was now morning. 

“Heda, I’m sorry to have….disturbed you.” The same look Lexa had watched cross over Titus’ face last night was there this morning. “We have urgent news from TonDC.” 

Lexa sat up in bed and looked concerned as Titus stopped in front of her bed. “What’s happened?” 

“Azgeda has attacked. They call it a test of strength for the new Heda.” Titus’ expression was now grave as Lexa’s eyes grew wide with shock. 

“How did you come by this information?” Lexa got up from the bed and felt a chill move up her spine as her bare feet hit the cold stone floor. 

“The Queen is here.” 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heda Lexa must make strong and smart leadership decisions as people try to test her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is late. I'm really loving telling this story and submerging myself in what I feel like Lexa's backstory and Grounder culture may have been. I hope you enjoy. Let me know what you think.
> 
> Tumblr: @anonfanfic

Lexa felt all the sleep leave her body. Costia tensed next to her as if ice truly had entered the room and put a chill in the air.

“I’ll give you time to ready yourself.” Titus was not hiding his displeasure at finding Lexa in her room with Costia. Lexa knew with the issues and unwelcome visitor now was not the time to address her teacher, but she made a note in the back of her mind to speak with him. This was not his place nor would she let him live in the delusion that it was his place to have an opinion.

Titus turned and walked out of the room leaving a harsh tension in his wake. Lexa got out of bed without looking at Costia. Whether she wanted him to or not Titus had gotten into her head and made her question her decisions as the new Heda. Was she showing weakness giving into her heart? Her handmaiden’s surrounded her and began to help her get ready. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Costia collect her things and walk quickly out of the room.

Lexa could almost physically feel herself being torn in two different directions as she finished getting prepared to meet Nia, the Queen of Azgeda.

The warmth that was now becoming a familiar feeling to her started to course through her body as she let her handmaiden adjust shoulder piece. The weight on her body helped to anchor her to reality as Titus met her in the doorway.

She gave Titus a curt nod still thinking about his look of disapproval at Costia. They walked in silence; Lexa trying to let her mind concentrate on the warmth running through her body that seemed to give her confidence.

Lexa had never met the Queen before but she had heard stories of how she ruled with fear and ruthless aggression. She knew that Nia would try to intimidate Lexa as new Heda but somehow with the help of the heat that was now making her fingertips and nose tingle Lexa knew how strong she really was as Commander.

The doors opened and Lexa’s eyes caught piercing grey for the first time. They sent a chill up Lexa’s spine as Nia stood and smirked at Lexa. There was nothing friendly about Queen Nia’s posture; there was no need for pleasantries between these two leaders.

Lexa stepped into the room and she felt just like she was stepping back into her conclave. This battle would be much different with both leaders wanting to appear more dominant with only their words.

“Queen Nia.” Lexa’s tone was measured as she walked into the dark room and took a seat at the table that had been set up for the Queen. “I’m sorry our first meeting must be under such troubling circumstances.”

The Queen waited just a second after Lexa had taken her seat to sit herself. Every move Nia made was calculated to give her a silent strength. “I’m sorry to hear of the death your Heda. He had a great respect for my leadership. I’m hoping you and I will be able to come to the same understanding.” There was an underlying darkness in Queen Nia’s words that could not be ignored.

“I am hoping that we will be able to come to a mutual respect in our leadership.” Lexa’s mind was working quickly to choose her words carefully and keep her voice even. She knew that the Queen was watching her every move and listening to her every word for a sign of weakness. Lexa would not give her the pleasure of trying to manipulate her.

“I think you will find that being my ally is in the best interest of your people.” Nia lifted her eyebrow sharply challenging Lexa with every syllable.

“I believe that as Heda I am fully aware of what is best for my people.” Lexa was not going to back down. This was where she would decide what kind of leader she would be for her people. “It may be time that Azgeda finally decides which side they will fall on.” Lexa stood up and she watched a flash of anger cross over Nia’s carefully concealed expression. “I will give you one month to give me your decision.” Lexa walked around the table and stood next to Nia. The Queen moved to stand up but Lexa blocked her movement. “I suggest you make your choice carefully. If you fall on the wrong side you will force me to see Azgeda as an enemy. I don’t want to do that.” Lexa could almost feel Nia’s glare trying to cut through her. She stood her ground and stared into Nia’s stormy eyes.

Finally Nia stood up and nearly touched Lexa’s nose with her own. “You dare challenge me?” All pretenses were gone now. A look of utter fury was etched on Queen Nia’s face as she snarled at Lexa. “You dare challenge the power of Azgeda?”

The warmth was now concentrated in Lexa’s chest. “I believe it is time someone finally challenged Azgeda. The other clans will back their Commander, as you are well aware. I am being merciful in giving Azgeda the chance to join. This offer will expire. I trust you will make the right choice for your people.” Lexa took one last look at Nia’s face as the red in her cheeks intensified.

“Please see Queen Nia back to her guard so she may return to Azgeda.” Lexa waved her hand dismissively in Nia’s direction as she turned and started to walk out of the room.

Titus followed behind her and caught up with her as they entered the throne room. “You handled that situation very well Heda.” Titus sounded very impressed with Lexa.

Lexa walked to her throne and sat down finally feeling the true power and responsibility of her new role. “We must call the other leaders of the clans together immediately to ensure their support. It’s time we united the clans and found peace among ourselves.

Titus put his hands behind his back and nodded. “I agree Heda. With you as the head of a new alliance we can see a new strength come to Polis. But before we begin the journey there is another matter that you must deal with now.” Titus lowered his head and took a deep breath before moving next to Lexa’s throne.

“What is that?” Lexa asked, wondering what issue could be more important in the moment than uniting the twelve clans.

“We have found Luna in the woods outside of Polis. She has been put in a cage and is awaiting your sentencing.” Lexa stood up and looked at Titus in surprise. With everything that had happened throughout the day she had forgotten about Luna running from the conclave.

“Bring her before me.” Lexa ordered and watched as Titus looked toward the door and nodded to the guards who stood there. One of the large men walked out of the room to go and retrieve Luna from her cell.

Lexa sat down again her body feeling more at war with itself than it had all day. She had grown with Luna and knew her heart was true. But her actions worked against her birthright and showed disloyalty to her people.

“The consequences for Luna’s cowardly actions are death.” Titus advised Lexa. But his words only proved to throw her thoughts more off balance.

“My first act as Heda will be to condemn one of my own to death?” Lexa was thinking out loud but also questioning the harsh punishment suggested by her teacher.

“Your first act as Heda will be to show that you do not condone this act of cowardice.” Titus responded strongly.

A few minutes later the doors to the throne room opened and Lexa saw a familiar mess of red hair thrashing against the strength of two guards. Luna was brought to the middle of the room and thrown harshly to her knees before Lexa.

“You will treat her with respect.” Lexa stood and stared menacingly at the two men who had thrown Luna to the hard ground. “She has not been sentenced yet.”

Luna looked up at Lexa with a mixture of fear and admiration. Lexa moved down from her raised platform and stood in front of Luna. She held out her hand to help Luna from the ground. “Please stand Luna. I’m sorry for your treatment.” Luna hesitated, as she looked surprised at Lexa’s outstretched hand. Surely she was expecting much harsher treatment for abandoning her nightblood status at the conclave.

“Please.” Lexa spoke with a level of patience she had learned through her years of training, as she looked down at Luna her hand still outstretched. Luna took Lexa’s hand and stood up, using the last of her strength to stand tall before her Heda.

“I know the consequences of my actions. Please do not treat me like a child.” Luna stared unblinkingly into Lexa’s eyes. Despite her strong words Lexa could see the fear behind her eyes.

“I’m not treating you as a child. I am treating you as a friend.” Lexa corrected her and walked back up to her throne. She sat back down and looked at Luna as she stood before her. “I am not sentencing you to death.”

Titus took a step forward but Lexa raised a hand to stop any words he was going to say.

“Banishment will be your punishment. You turned your back on your people and therefore your people have no choice but to turn their back on you. You are not to take refuge in any established villages or cities of the clans. If you disobey my orders you will be brought back to Polis and imprisoned.” Lexa spoke with a firmness that kept Titus at bay. There would be no arguing with her judgment and she made sure Titus knew that just from her tone.

Luna’s mouth hung open slightly as she let Lexa’s words sink in. This was not what she had been expecting at all. She had been brought in prepared for her death.

“You have until sunset to leave the city.” Lexa stood and once again walked down in front of Luna. She lowered her voice so only Luna would hear her next words, “If you come back I will not be able to pardon you again. Please my friend, go in peace.”

Luna looked back at Lexa, her face looked relieved but there was still a hardness behind her eyes. “We both know there will never be a peace for either of us again.” Lexa stared back at Luna and knew her words were true. What was peace when it was drowning in blood?


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa is challenged by the Azgeda Queen and is forced to decide between her head and her heart.

A few weeks passed and Lexa saw her vision of twelve united clans begin to take shape. The other clans had sent ambassadors to live in Polis and speak on behalf of their own people. Lexa as Heda stood as the sole leader between the new ambassadors and a peace that had been sought for over 90 years finally settled over most of the land.

For quite a while Azgeda and Queen Nia had stayed quiet, though they did not join the alliance. Lexa conceded to the unstable peace though she knew it was only a matter of time before she would have to deal with Nia and make an example of Azgeda.

Lexa presided in her throne room listening to the news from the clans of the coalition, when the meeting were interrupted by an Azgeda warrior swinging the doors open. His facial scars ran up and down his jawline in jagged strips that gave him a permanent sneer. Lexa rose slowly from her throne as the man strode confidently to the center of the room. Two guards ran up behind him and grabbed his arms halting his approach, as Titus stepped protectively in front of Lexa on the platform.

“What is the meaning of this?” Titus demanded his hands moving inside his robe where Lexa knew he hid a sharp dagger.

“The Queen sends a message to the Commander.” The man spoke as if unbothered by the guards gripping his forearms.

Lexa raised an arm in front of Titus and directed him to her side as she stepped forward. “And what is this message the Queen thought was worthy of such an interruption?” Lexa narrowed her eyes as she stared down at the man.

“Queen Nia requires one of your people to travel with me to Azgeda so she may become a part of the Commander’s new alliance and take the brand.” The man stared unblinking at Lexa, his lips curled up in a sly smile. His arms flexed powerfully in the grasp of the guards standing behind him. 

Lexa studied the man’s face and set her jaw. Queen Nia was making a play of some kind and Lexa was trying to see the board before she made her next move. 

“Queen Nia may come to Polis to receive the brand. She knows this.” Titus spoke, once again taking a step forward in challenge.

The man shook his head but didn’t tear his gaze away from Lexa. “The Queen will join the alliance if the terms are made in her kingdom.”

“That is Queen Nia’s only condition?” Lexa asked, her cautiously waiting to see the barb hidden in this offer.

“No.” The man gave Lexa a knowing smirk. Both of them knew that the Queen had one more play that would be made to push Lexa over the edge. “Queen Nia wishes to have the person who delivers the brand be trusted by Heda. She wishes to prove her loyalty by welcoming a close companion of the Commander.”

Lexa immediately knew who Nia was speaking about. Word had spread that Lexa did not spend her nights alone as was normal for Heda. Costia would join her. She had become someone that Lexa trusted and depended on in every arena of her life.

“No.” Lexa felt anger burn in the pit of her stomach her hands nearly shaking with it. “We will send a guard to deliver the brand.” Before Lexa could even finish the man was already shaking his head.

“If Queen Nia’s terms are not met fully she will refuse to accept the brand.” Lexa knew Nia’s move now. She knew that if Lexa did not give into her seemingly reasonable demands she would look weak. If Lexa looked weak the Queen would be able to shore up alliances with the other clans and begin the civil war she desired.

“Queen Nia does not give the Commander orders.” Titus sounded outraged at the mere suggestion that Nia could impose any rules on Lexa.

“Enough Titus.” Lexa looked back at her teacher, knowing he wanted to protect her but also carefully warning him not to cross a line with her. “I will send who the Queen seeks but only accompanied with one guard.”

The man nodded, “The Queen thought you would want an escort. She is fine with the condition provided the guard is not you.”

Lexa was impressed more than she cared to admit by Nia’s foresight. If this was a chess game than the Queen had made a clever move. It forced her to accept this without knowing fully what her enemy planned.

“Take him to a cage until we have sorted out a guard.” Lexa ordered and her men hauled the man before he could move for his knife. “You will be released and sent back to Azgeda with my answer after I have met with the individual Queen Nia has requested.”

Lexa’s guards dragged the man from the throne room as neither he nor Lexa broke their stare until the doors closed.

“Lexa this is an excellent development.” Titus dropped all formality once they were alone in the room. His excitement was palpable as he clasped his hands together. “When Azgeda joins the coalition we will finally have peace.”  

Lexa walked back to her throne and sat down. “I have not made the decision to send anyone to Azgeda yet, Titus.” Her voice thick with warning. 

“But Heda, this is what we have been working towards. No other Commander has ever gotten this close, let alone in such a short amount of time.” Titus sounded slightly desperate as he walked toward Lexa with his hands out in front of him.

“I will not hear this.” Lexa held up her hand to stop Titus’s approach. “There may be other ways we can achieve peace without putting innocent people in danger.”

“If Azgeda does not join our alliance I believe we will be facing a war that will put all of our people in danger, not just one person.” Titus’ voice rose as he tried to convince Lexa to consider the Queen’s proposal.

“This will be Costia’s decision to make, I will not put her life in danger for our agenda without speaking to her first.” Lexa stood up wordlessly ending the conversation. “Now I need you to bring Costia to me so we can discuss this.” Lexa watched as a vein in Titus’ temple bulged, but he did not hesitate to follow Lexa’s order.

After Titus left Lexa put her hands firmly behind her back and let her brain lose itself in thought. She needed to be thinking constantly to stay ahead of the Queen. She was testing Lexa as the new leader and because of her age Nia thought it would be easy to control her.

After a few minutes the door opened once again and Lexa’s heart jumped when she saw Costia leading the way into the room. She looked tired and nervous, Titus must have told her of the situation they had been put in.

“Heda.” Costia bowed to Lexa as she walked up to her. It was a harsh reminder of what Titus had taught her for years. Now that she was Heda there would always be a wall between herself and Costia. Would this be where she found her weakness as a leader? Looking into Costia’s dark and caring eyes Lexa knew without doubt that she loved her, beyond measure and beyond her own life. She knew that she would do whatever she could to protect and care for Costia. If what she felt for the beautiful girl standing before her was weakness, Lexa was sure she would let the city burn just to hold Costia for the rest of her days.

“Heda.” Now it was Titus who addressed her. “Please, we must discuss what will be done.”

Lexa nodded forcing herself to concentrate on the present and took one last look at Costia before turning to sit back on her throne. “I can’t allow this..” Lexa began but Costia’s strong voice broke through.

“Lex…Heda.” Costia caught herself and knelt before Lexa in an act of obedience and loyalty. “Let me do this for you and for our people.” Costia’s eyes looked at the stone floor she knelt on but Lexa could hear just from her tone that she would not back down from her position. If Lexa were to stop her she would be putting a death sentence on not only herself but Costia as well.

Lexa pursed her lips together tightly, her heart feeling like a block of steel in her chest. “Very well. You will leave with your guard at dawn tomorrow.” Lexa swallowed hard and felt a painful ache in her throat. This was what it meant to be Heda, to feel this hallow pain in your chest with every choice that was made. Lexa would have to stand before her people and know that she did what was best for them; Titus knew this, Costia knew this, and now all Lexa could do was hold Costia tonight until they would meet again on her return. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Lexa loses everything what will she do? Become the leader she thinks her people need and her teacher expects her to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After this chapter we will be moving into the future. There we will find another familiar face. Let the fun begin!
> 
> Tumblr: @anonfanfic

The morning came in what felt like seconds to Lexa. She could feel Costia stirring next to her and all she wanted to do was just pull her close and forget about everything else in the world.

  
“Lexa.” Costia’s sleepy voice whispered softly in her ear.

  
“Shhh.” Lexa rolled over and nuzzled her nose into Costia’s neck. “Just a few more minutes.”

  
Costia’s long fingers started to trace Lexa’s back softly as they just laid quietly together. Lexa tried to focus on everything about Costia, her scent, the feeling of her skin against her own, and the perfect way their bodies fit together.

  
There was a loud knock on the door and it was like their bubble of peace just collapsed and broke into broken and sharp shards around them. Lexa sat up and let the reality of what today was wash over her. Costia was already out of bed and dressed when Titus walked into the room.

  
“Heda.” Titus stopped halfway to the bed and put his hands behind his back. Once again Lexa caught something in Titus’ eyes that she didn’t like. “Costia’s horse and guard are ready.”

  
Lexa pulled a long silk robe around her body, “Thank you Titus.” Costia walked over to stand by Titus and Lexa felt a strange pull in her chest.

  
“Titus, can you give us one minute alone please.” Lexa asked as she walked over to Costia. The pull in her chest was almost strangling her. She knew Cosita was being ripped from her and even with her title of Heda she felt powerless.

  
Titus simply nodded and turned on his heels to walk out of the door.

  
The room felt hot even though the sun hadn’t even risen beneath the horizon. Lexa felt like every breath she took was being constricted. Her eyes were burning and her vision was blurry with unshed tears.

  
“It’s not forever.” Costia smiled softly and walked over to Lexa. “It’s only for a minute. Our people need this.” Costia reached out and took Lexa’s arms.

  
Lexa could only nod and swallow the huge lump that was forming in her throat. She had to believe Costia’s words because the alternative was too much for Lexa to grasp. If she let those thoughts consume her she wouldn’t be able to lead her people.

  
Lexa pulled Costia into a tight hug. They pulled away just enough so Lexa could rest her forehead against Costia’s. Their eyes were closed as they slowly swayed together. Costia took a step back and Lexa felt her heart drop when their eyes met.

  
“Heda.” Costia bowed slightly and Lexa knew she was trying to put distance between their feelings to try and make this easier. But as Lexa nodded to Costia she knew there was no easy way through this.

  
Lexa watched as Costia turned and walked to the door. She waited but Costia didn’t turn back to look at Lexa. She knew that it must have been too hard and maybe she would second guess her choice. Maybe she had started crying and didn’t want Lexa to see her weakness. But Lexa wanted to see every part of Costia. She had fallen for her and even with Titus’ teachings of love being weakness she never saw Costia as something that made her weak.

  
Lexa stood in the same spot watching the door and silently hoping Costia would walk back in and they wouldn’t have to be apart.

  
Finally Lexa moved and started getting ready to face a new day as Commander. Her handmaidens came in and helped her with her integrate braids. Lexa saw Titus come back into the room and knew that Costia had left Polis.

  
“They will be in Azgeda territory before the sun sets.” Titus informed Lexa.

  
“And when will they return?” Lexa asked as she adjusted her armor and started walking toward the door.

  
“They are expected back in Polis no later than tomorrow evening.” Titus walked side-by-side with Lexa as they made their way to the throne room to begin the meetings Lexa had to inform the other ambassadors about Queen Nia’s decision to join the alliance. Lexa nodded and started counting down the minutes until the next night.

  
They walked into the throne room and all conversation stopped. The room was filled with members of the other clans who had come to hear what Heda was going to announce.

  
Everyone in the room stood as Lexa walked in to take her place on the raised platform where her throne was located. She turned and watched as every single person in the room kneeled before her.

  
She nodded, “Let’s begin.” Lexa ordered and everyone stood in unison and sat down to begin the meeting.

  
The moment Lexa told the other ambassadors about Azgeda joining the coalition there was an outbreak of murmurs. Ambassadors stood and expressed their fear and outrage at the rogue clan being included in the coalition.

  
Lexa let the commotion continue for a few moments before she held up her hands to silence the room. Anyone who was standing quickly sat down to listen to the Commander.

  
“Brothers, today we take another step towards peace. Azgeda joining our coalition means we will be even more powerful in our fight against the real enemy, the Mountain Men.” Lexa spoke clearly and with a tone of authority that just seemed to come naturally to her.

  
“But Heda the Queen isn’t to be trusted.” One of the braver Ambassador’s spoke up, his voice still shaking slightly despite his outburst.

  
“The Queen will be welcomed into this alliance as all of you were.” Lexa began and now her tone held a finality that told everyone else in the room that there would be no more arguing. “She will take the seal and a new peace will begin.”

 

  
There was a shifting among those seated but no one spoke, the murmurs had even stopped in fear of what Lexa would do to anyone who spoke against her word.

  
Lexa spoke with a confidence she didn’t feel. There was a knot that had been sitting like a weight in the pit of her stomach since Costia had left. It wasn’t just that Costia was away from her protection. It was that she still did not trust Azgeda or the Ice Queen.

  
Lexa sat in silence with her Ambassadors, her day had only just started and already she wanted to skip ahead to the next night when she would be able to hold Costia again. Lexa would have done what no other Commander could have done before. Maybe then she would be able to feel some sense of peace.

  
The rest of the day felt like an eternity. Lexa had to meet with different Ambassador’s to assure them individually that their clans would be safe with Azgeda in the alliance. There were other Ambassador’s who seemed excited at the prospect of Azgeda joining and that gave Lexa more pause. If something should happen there could be a chance some clans loyalty would fall with the Ice Queen. She had proven herself powerful over the years and now with a young leader as Heda she would be sure to test her limits at every turn.

  
“Heda.” Titus was looking at her concerned and Lexa knew she had drifted into her thoughts. “We were speaking of hosting Azgeda in the city. Once the Queen has taken the seal it is custom to announce to the capital the new alliance.”

  
Lexa nodded slowly, still letting her mind drift to Costia and her journey. “That will be arranged once the guard has returned.” Titus stared at Lexa for a long time both of them knowing that Lexa meant once Costia was back in Polis safe she would make her next move.

  
“Yes, Heda.”

  
Lexa could tell that Titus did not agree completely with Lexa’s judgement. He had told her more times than she cared to remember how weak love made her and that it could cloud her judgement as Heda.

  
Finally the day ended and Lexa excused herself so that she could hopefully escape to her thoughts in her chambers.

  
Lexa woke with a start the next morning. A cool sweat made strands of long brown hair to stick to her forehead. She felt like she had been running for miles but hadn’t moved all night. She blinked away the remaining sleep from her eyes just as Titus knocked loudly on her door.

  
“Heda, something has arrived from Azgeda for you.” His voice sounded happy, almost gleeful at the news that the Queen had sent Lexa something as the guard arrived in the Ice Nation. Lexa was sure even in her foggy state that her teacher saw this as a positive sign that things would go smoothly as the powerful leaders joined forces.

  
“Enter.” Lexa declared as she pushed her damp hair away from her face. Her hands were still shaking, but she hid them under her covers. She still didn’t know what had caused her to wake up so suddenly, but there was a heavy feeling in her stomach that seemed to tighten when Titus walked into her room with two large guards carrying a wooden box.

  
“Any news of the guard and Costia?” Lexa asked as she stood up and the box was placed in front of her.

  
“No news.” Titus lifted a dismissive hand at Lexa’s question. Clearly he was more interested in whatever the Queen had sent than the safety of the people that had traveled to the Ice Nation. “They must have succeeded in bringing Azgeda into the alliance. Nia seems to have sent a peace offering to you.”

  
Lexa couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling that tightened its grip around her stomach. Something was wrong with this. Nia had never sent gifts or offerings to anyone since she came to power. That would show weakness. Everything the Ice Queen did was a strategic move and Lexa knew this was no different.

  
“Open it.” Lexa tightened her jaw. Her men bent down and pried open the box. The minute the lid was removed her guards jumped up and moved away quickly. Lexa stifled a gasp and felt her throat close. She shook her head and tried to wake up from whatever nightmare she was in. But this was no nightmare, this had been what the Queen had wanted all along.

  
Costia’s head was placed on top of a black silk cloth. A note was placed next to her head and Titus slowly reached down and took the note from the box.

  
“The Commander will be pleased to know that despite my best efforts her favorite subject divulged none of her secrets. I have taken the seal and will now serve our Heda under the protection of the coalition. As was stated by this young one any crimes committed before the seal was taken will be forgiven by Heda Lexa. I can assure you that this was Azgeda’s final crime. Your faithful subject Queen Nia of Azgeda.”

  
Titus’ voice was cold as he read the words. Lexa felt weak and was sure her legs wouldn't be able to hold her weight much longer.

  
“Get this out of here.” Titus ordered and the guards immediately closed the box and lifted it.

  
“Please be careful with it.” Lexa spoke before the men turned around. “She will need a proper funeral.” She tried to keep authority in her voice but everything was hurting her. It felt like there was broken glass cutting into every inch of her skin. Her heart felt like it had been ripped out of her chest still beating.

  
The men left and Titus folded the note from the Queen and put it in the pocket inside his dark robes.

  
“Heda, what will we do?” Titus asked carefully. “To seek vengeance will surely weaken the alliance.”

  
Lexa put her hands behind her back as she pushed back her emotions and forced her mind to work as a diplomat.

  
“Nia is right. I told Costia that her crimes before the seal would be forgiven. I played right into her hand.” Lexa pursed her lips and turned toward the windows. There was bright sunlight pouring in but the warmth couldn’t touch Lexa.

  
“We will welcome Azgeda into our alliance. But I will not let this crime go unanswered. I will bide my time and make my move when the opportunity presents itself.”

  
Lexa turned back to Titus and watched her teacher nod approvingly. “This could be a time for a new chapter Heda. Love is weakness. You see this now. My teachings have always been to make you a stronger leader. Together we can see this coalition through and finally have enough force to conquer the mountain. We can free our people from its dark shadow.”

  
Now it was Lexa’s turn to nod. “You’re right teacher. We will focus on the alliance and our goals. First I would like to have a private funeral for Costia. I wish to say goodbye.”

  
Titus lost some of the spark in his eyes but he nodded despite it. “Of course Heda. I will arrange it and after I will arrange the first meeting of the entire coalition. It is time to show the other ambassador’s your power and your leadership.”

  
“Do it.” Lexa said simply and dismissively to her teacher. She wanted him to leave. Lexa wasn’t sure how much longer she could stay composed.

  
“As you wish.” Titus bowed quickly and turned to walk out the door.

  
Lexa was finally alone in her room and everything she had pushed away started to crash down. Her hands began to shake and her eyes burned so badly as she had to lift her chin to look at the ceiling to stop the tears from falling. She had lost the one person who knew her as something other than Heda. She had lost her heart and with it her will to feel anything anymore. This pain was overwhelming and nothing she would wish on anyone else. After a few minutes of letting everything wash over her she knew it was time to move on. It was her job as Heda, her people came first. Titus was right there was no room for weakness in her leadership. It was in that last silent moment before she walked out of her room that she felt herself disconnect. Nothing could touch her if she put up walls. Nothing on this earth would ever touch her again.

 


End file.
